Apr 22, 2017

Seeing a Father, Son, and Grandson Naked

Plains, April 2017

I see the Geezer in the gym a couple of times a week: in his 70s, tall, ugly, and out of shape, with thin arms, no chest, and a sagging belly.   He never lifts weights or does cardio; he hangs around the pool and sauna, reads newspapers in the lounge, and talks to his buddies about the deadly dull things heterosexuals talk about, the game last night and the bathroom remodeling and the new job of the grandson.

I could not be less interested.

But one day we were stripping down at the same time, and I got a nice view of his penis.


The best sausage sighting ever!

And, I thought, the Geezer must have had a lifetime of admirers, men and women who wanted his penis, and more, who wanted the person he was before bitterness, disappointment, poor health, and the awareness of his mortality dimmed his days and nights.

So I struck up a conversation, said I was doing research on the older guys who went to the gym (which was true), and looked for a gay connection in the Geezer's biography.   Later I did some online research.

The Geezer

In 1964, the Geezer was a University of Nebraska jock named Dave, a farmboy from a small town near Lincoln.

He was on the swim team, and won some awards.  Swimming was a lifelong passion.

There must have been homoerotic hijinks in college.  Frat parties, late night bull sessions, romantic friendships.  

He graduated in 1964, but was never part of the youth counterculture.  Quiet, driven, conservative, he went to work for Mutual of Omaha, the insurance company. He married his college sweetheart, and had two sons and a daughter.

Was he sneaking into the gay bars, or going to the tea rooms? 

We were neighbors!  Dave was living in Omaha in 1980, when I moved there with my first boyfriend Fred.  A 38-year old householder with a wife and three children.

But our paths never crossed. 

Apparently nothing else happened.  A life of heterosexual monotony.  House, job, vacations, holidays, kids' piano recitals, watching them, one at a time, marry and leave the house.

He retired in 2007, and moved to the Plains to be close to his grown daughter.

"What about your sons?" I asked.

"The oldest got a job in marketing.  He lives in Des Moines.  The other wanted to be an actor or a model or some such nonsense, so he moved to California.  We see him maybe once a year."

My gaydar perked up.  That was my story, too, fleeing from the cage of heteronormative expectations -- wife, job, house, kids -- for the freedom of West Hollywood. Maybe this was the Geezer's gay connection!

The stories of the Geezer's son and grandson are on Tales of West Hollywood.

Apr 21, 2017

Fighting the Nazis, One Bicep at a Time

Superman, the first costumed superhero in comic book history, premiered in Action Comics 1 in the spring of 1938, just in time for World War II.  By the time the U.S. entered the war in 1941, the skies were dark with superheroes and their teen sidekicks.  Some are still flying, albeit revamped, retrofitted, and re-invented into a form that their 1940s counterparts would hardly recognize:  Batman, the Sub-Mariner, the Human Torch, Flash, Hawkman, the Atom, Plastic Man, Green Arrow.

But many others have fallen into obscurity: Dollman, Blue Beetle, Amazing Man, Electro, Black Marvel, Hourman, Bulletman, Uncle Sam, the Red Tornado, the Black Terror, Professor Supermind, Wildcat, Mr. Terrific.

They acquired their superpowers in various ways, through super-secret experiments, weird meteors, radioactive spiders, and mystics from the Himalayas, but they all were dedicated to fighting Nazis, and they all had spectacular physiques, which they usually displayed in skin-tight spandex.

Here are some superheroes who appeared without a costume, revealing their massive pecs and washboard abs to brighten spirits during the dark days of the War:

Samson, the descendant of the Biblical hero, has super-strength, as long as no one cuts his long hair.  He first appeared in Fantastic Comics #1 (1939), and got his own short-lived title in 1940.  The kid, by the way, is his teen sidekick David (no relation to the Biblical hero).

The Ultra-Man, aka Gary Concord, premiered in All-American Comics #8 (November 1939).  He's a 20th century scientist who goes to the future, aka Buck Rogers, and fights the tyrant Reborrizon.  Later he's killed himself, but his son takes over as the new shirtless Ultra-Man.

Scrounging around for ancient, Biblical, and mythical superheroes, Dan Zolnerowich stumbled upon Hercules.  Joe Hercules, however, is not descended from anybody.  He's a "real American youth" who just happens to have super-strength.  He starred in 21 issues of Hit Comics, from July 1940 to April 1942.

Magic Morro's story begins in Super Comics #27 (August 1940).  Originally Jack Morrow, he gained his superpowers on an island in the Pacific, where of course one must go shirtless.

I don't know who this is -- an ordinary soldier, not a superhero.  But a spectacular physique is a spectacular physique, even if you can't move mountains.  From Wings Comics #29 (January 1943).

Red Rube, who appeared in nine issues of Zip Comics in 1943 and 1944, is a twelve-year old orphan boy who turns into an adult superhero whenever anyone yells "Hey, Rube!" (which apparently happens quite often).

Apr 20, 2017

Scott Baio's Hookup with His Cousin and the "Fantasy Island" Guy

Of all the gay rumors I heard about Scott Baio, the most outrageous was the alleged three-way he had with his cousin Jimmy Baio and older actor Ricardo Montalban.

I heard several different versions from several guys, but it all boils down to three basic plots:

Story 1:

It was 1977, and 17 year old Scott has just finished Blansky's Beauties, while 15 year old Jimmy had just finished with The Bad News Bears in Breaking Training.

Scott's father, a canny stage dad who knew his way around strategic casting couches, arranged an introduction to the dapper Mexican-born Ricardo Montalban, age 56, then filming the first episodes of the Saturday-night old-person's favorite Fantasy Island (1977-84).

[Details too explicit for Boomer Beefcake and Bonding]

Story #2

It was 1980, and Scott, age 20, was playing Fonzie's cousin Chachi on Happy Days, while Jimmy, age 18, was a bigger star, playing Billy Tate on Soap.  

59-year old Montalban, who was filming Fantasy Island at ABC's Burbank studio, was a fan of Soap, and sometimes came to watch rehearsals.  He and Jimmy, who was gay but closeted, soon began a romantic relationship.

When Scott heard about Montalban's proficiency in bed and enormous penis, he begged Jimmy to let him watch.  Montalban agreed.

[Details too explicit for Boomer Beefcake and Bonding]

Story #3:

It was 1984, and Scott, age 24, was starring in Charles in Charge, while Jimmy, age 22, was scrounging around for tv guest spots after the cancellation of Soap.

Jimmy often went to the cruising area in Griffith Park, and one day he saw the 63-year old Montalban there.  They had met several times, but neither knew the other was gay.

They went back to Montalban's house on Oriole Street in the Hollywood Hills.

[Details...well, you get the idea.  The full stories, with nude photos and explicit sexual situations, are on Tales of West Hollywood.]